My Tank is Full

I'm running on over drive here.

I've got a lot going on right now in terms of conference prep, general everyday things, and plus a show opening this weekend. Crazy? yes. Enjoyable? most of the time.
Things wouldn't be so crazy if my car did poop out this weekend.

I was driving down the freeway when I noticed smoke coming out of the back of my car and my RPMs began to fluctuate. After a few phone calls, a tow truck, a rescue pick up from Ty, and a rental car from the airport with my Dad, I learned that tubes  had been disconnected and caps were sealed correctly and radiator brackets were missing. The guy seemed to think that this damage looked deliberate and wondered if I had my car serviced recently--- which I did. I had my oil changed a couple of weeks ago. It made me fairly paranoid and since then my emotional tank has been at the threshold.

Sometimes its hard to put aside all that other stuff and focus on the work that is in front of you. Sometimes its not. But this week, I've been thinking about that particular issue. How is it that we carry on and provide effective therapeutic services when we could be susceptible to an amygdala hijacking at any moment.


Amygdala Hijacking - When your emotional responses take over. They are immediate and completely overwhelming and absolutely out of proportion in response to the thing that has caused it. Directly from Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence." For example, rage, anger, sadness in response to not being able to fit a keyboard into a "clown" rental car. Seriously, I don't know how music therapists work with tiny cars. 


The worst part of an amygdala hijacking, especially for me, is that I'm at the whim of my emotional responses. There isn't time to analyze or over-think. Its illogical and out of proportion... but its like a roller coaster that you can't get off. You sort of have to go with it until the ride is over. That part drives me a little batty.

This week has been another confirmation that I am in a wonderful discipline and profession. I sort of got a grip on everything after my first session yesterday. It sort of reprioritized and reorganized myself. I have a job to do and I am good at it. And I love it. And my students are amazing and they benefit from the music.  Plus the support from my colleagues both in music therapy and other disciplines lifts me up. I'm not the only person who has ever felt this way. Sometimes the work can be draining and its nice (and necessary) to be able to talk about it with other professionals at work.

Briefly (the reason why I haven't blogged recently):
One major project down for regional business (!!!!!--- that project was certainly hefty) with Conference coming up in a few weeks!
First tech rehearsal for "hell" week for the latest theater production I'm playing for!
Car should be ready to pick up this afternoon!
I picked up a new piano student!
Housesitting gig next week - just some "girl time" with Baroness Peaches.

As always, I have a lot to be excited about. :)