And I'm back

I am back from another high school retreat and I am tired. Geez. It was a nice experience again.

What I really want to write about today is something relating to music therapy that I had never experienced before.

When we go through school, we are taught to value the idea of closure. In the 12 week practicum experiences, we were taught that preparing for termination begins day 1. That helps to give the clients a time frame for how long you will be in their lives, how often and what you will be doing. That is important. You don't want the client to be surprised when services have ended. This is really the main concern. But I guess a secondary concern is the therapist's perception of closure and preparing to gain closure.

Closure is extremely important.

In preparing for finishing up internship, we talked a lot about closure. I left with closure on multiple accounts. I left feeling pretty good about my whole time in new york. My friends and relationship, work, and everything I'd learned. What a wonderful little snippet in the timeline of my life.

While on retreat this weekend, I (and 13 other interns) received an email from my internship director to report on the health of one of my clients. This client is beloved by all- such a character. This person always kept us laughing and teaching us new things..... what a wonderful teacher. The email described a sort of freak accident relating to the health of this client and that it wouldn't be long before this client passed away. In fact, this person was probably going pass today or tomorrow. I'd never known one of my clients to die.

I was shocked when I read this. Of course, it was 1a the first night of the retreat and the kids had just "gone to bed" (which we all know means the doors were closed and all the chit-chatting had been reduced to hushed tones). This certainly made the retreat experience a little different for me as I thought about how I felt about the news. I was horribly upset at first. This person wasn't young by any means, but the sudden change is saddening. I think that you always remember your clients how they were when you worked with them. Knowing that this isn't the case anymore I think is the saddest part.

Grief, to me, is any sort of loss. It ranges from losing something material to losing a loved one. I don't think it ever fully goes away, but just becomes less over time. Although the initial shock it what I am reacting to most, I know that my life and training are better for having worked with this particular person. And that there are a lot of other people, including the special club of 14 interns that worked with this person, my ITD and other staff there, that are shocked too. In the meantime, Kari and I are putting together a little remembrance about this client for the upcoming service. I feel good about it and like I can smile and be happy remembering all of the hilarity that happened during sessions and our interactions together.

The retreat was great. Good kids again and great leaders. I feel lucky for being able to go on it again. But I am exhausted! I work monday (3 sessions whoo hooo) and I must fit most of my planning in tomorrow. Oops. :) This month will be busy including a few more hours and children's theater. But I am looking forward to it!