What a weekend.
I just spent the last 24 hours in Sacramento spending time with a music therapy colleague to prep for a presentation we are giving at our conference in March.
Our presentation is sort of on a difficult topic. My colleague wasn't sure that anyone, at least in our region, has ever presented on it at conference. So, its sort of risky, I suppose. We're presenting on integrating ways of thinking in music therapy. My colleague and I come from two very different theoretical backgrounds and we have been talking about doing this type of presentation for a couple of years. I guess now is the time.
It wasn't a walk in the park to put together. Our ways of doing things are so different. Our taxonomy and language is different. And for some reason these two "camps" don't always get along. We went back and forth for at least 2 hours this morning on how to compare and contrast the two models. I was about ready to shut down out of frustration and my colleague (who is also a good friend) was pushing and pushing.
We finally ended up where we needed to get, but not without taking a break to process everything we were trying to cover. It was a good experience and the frustration we felt is something we can draw upon for our presentation.
I'm back home now and happily lounging after a productive 24 hours.
My brain is officially fried.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Acceptance
Today is an important day.
Today I achieved Acceptance.
Turns out I have been grieving the fact that I went into private practice. See, I wanted someone to want me enough to pay me on vacation and sick days and benefits to work full time. That's what I really wanted right out of internship. I didn't want to work for my self - the main reasons being accounting and the administrative side of the business. I wanted (and still do) to be a clinician. All of the time.
A light bulb went off today while I was driving home.
I went through the stages of grief over this private practice thing (from the Kubler-Ross model).
1. Denial - For a while I was convinced that this was not what I wanted to do and that I wasn't going to do it. Someone would hire me. No big deal.
2. Anger - Why Me? There wasn't a whole lot of this, I don't think, but there were instances where I felt "why am I doing this. I hate this."
3. Bargaining - If I just work for the first 3 months under contract, they will hire me.
4. Depression - This sucks. I hate this. What? I have to reconcile every month? No. This is why I didn't want to work for myself. I don't feel like doing any of this. Can I run away to mexico and be one of those people that sells grains of rice with names written on them. Yes, I've thought about that.
5. Acceptance - Today.
Today, I came to accept my private-practice-ness.
About a week ago, I had this feeling that the school would never hire me. I felt strangely okay with that. I felt that was kind of weird because I have written so much about wanting them to just hire me. But in the last few weeks or so, I've experienced a change of heart.
Then today, I was meeting with a colleague and it finally donned on me. I'm doing pretty well on my own. It is better for me to be in private practice at this point in my career. Its okay to approach some other schools and try and get another contract somewhere. I'd been hesitant to call another school for autism to inquire about music because of my emotional attachment to this current school.
Thought I'd share that epiphany. I told Julie to mark it down in the calendar as the day I accepted my private practiceness.
I will now go help myself to some cookies. I think I deserve it.
Today I achieved Acceptance.
Turns out I have been grieving the fact that I went into private practice. See, I wanted someone to want me enough to pay me on vacation and sick days and benefits to work full time. That's what I really wanted right out of internship. I didn't want to work for my self - the main reasons being accounting and the administrative side of the business. I wanted (and still do) to be a clinician. All of the time.
A light bulb went off today while I was driving home.
I went through the stages of grief over this private practice thing (from the Kubler-Ross model).
1. Denial - For a while I was convinced that this was not what I wanted to do and that I wasn't going to do it. Someone would hire me. No big deal.
2. Anger - Why Me? There wasn't a whole lot of this, I don't think, but there were instances where I felt "why am I doing this. I hate this."
3. Bargaining - If I just work for the first 3 months under contract, they will hire me.
4. Depression - This sucks. I hate this. What? I have to reconcile every month? No. This is why I didn't want to work for myself. I don't feel like doing any of this. Can I run away to mexico and be one of those people that sells grains of rice with names written on them. Yes, I've thought about that.
5. Acceptance - Today.
Today, I came to accept my private-practice-ness.
About a week ago, I had this feeling that the school would never hire me. I felt strangely okay with that. I felt that was kind of weird because I have written so much about wanting them to just hire me. But in the last few weeks or so, I've experienced a change of heart.
Then today, I was meeting with a colleague and it finally donned on me. I'm doing pretty well on my own. It is better for me to be in private practice at this point in my career. Its okay to approach some other schools and try and get another contract somewhere. I'd been hesitant to call another school for autism to inquire about music because of my emotional attachment to this current school.
Thought I'd share that epiphany. I told Julie to mark it down in the calendar as the day I accepted my private practiceness.
I will now go help myself to some cookies. I think I deserve it.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Reclaiming my Time!
I am reclaiming my weekends.
I have decided to transition out of my Sunday groups and move my sometimes Saturday session to another weeknight. That means I will have weekends to relax and recharge.
As of March, my schedule will change. I will do a lot less driving every month. I will miss my Sunday clients, but in the grand scheme of things, if I keep going at this rate, I will surely burn out. This a preventative and solid decision.
I feel pretty good about it.
Also, I have survived prepping my taxes for the first time.
Big shout out to my dad, The Don, for his tireless work. He went through everything with me and for me, made sure that everything was set up, and that every cent was reconciled. It was a lot of work, but we did it. My statements are ready to go to the accountant AND we did it without any yelling at each other. There was plenty of yelling and pounding tables, but for completely unrelated reasons. So thanks Dad, love you! I think I almost understand how this stuff works. :)
I have decided to transition out of my Sunday groups and move my sometimes Saturday session to another weeknight. That means I will have weekends to relax and recharge.
As of March, my schedule will change. I will do a lot less driving every month. I will miss my Sunday clients, but in the grand scheme of things, if I keep going at this rate, I will surely burn out. This a preventative and solid decision.
I feel pretty good about it.
Also, I have survived prepping my taxes for the first time.
Big shout out to my dad, The Don, for his tireless work. He went through everything with me and for me, made sure that everything was set up, and that every cent was reconciled. It was a lot of work, but we did it. My statements are ready to go to the accountant AND we did it without any yelling at each other. There was plenty of yelling and pounding tables, but for completely unrelated reasons. So thanks Dad, love you! I think I almost understand how this stuff works. :)
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Songwriting
Today one of my groups wrote a song.
It was about disgusting things: Wiping your nose on your sleeve, not showering, mud and of course.. poop.
Yes, it happened to be a group of boys.... could you have guessed?
Aside from the subject matter, the guys were feeding off of each other, appropriate interacting and contributing to this songwriting process. They were motivated and seemed to have a good time. They were on task and everything they were contributing was absolutely related to the topic at hand. Also, at the end there was a sense of group cohesion. It brought us together and gave us a few laughs.
We also recognized that the events in the song were "gross!" and if we identified them, we know not to do them. No body wants to shake the hand of someone who has been wiping their nose with their hands/sleeve.
I guess it doesn't always matter what the content is... if the topic is motivating and relevant and can be shaped to work towards their goals, then why not (....within reason)?
It was an informative and productive 25 minutes. :)
It was about disgusting things: Wiping your nose on your sleeve, not showering, mud and of course.. poop.
Yes, it happened to be a group of boys.... could you have guessed?
Aside from the subject matter, the guys were feeding off of each other, appropriate interacting and contributing to this songwriting process. They were motivated and seemed to have a good time. They were on task and everything they were contributing was absolutely related to the topic at hand. Also, at the end there was a sense of group cohesion. It brought us together and gave us a few laughs.
We also recognized that the events in the song were "gross!" and if we identified them, we know not to do them. No body wants to shake the hand of someone who has been wiping their nose with their hands/sleeve.
I guess it doesn't always matter what the content is... if the topic is motivating and relevant and can be shaped to work towards their goals, then why not (....within reason)?
It was an informative and productive 25 minutes. :)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
A Step in the Right Direction
BedKnobs and Broomsticks is one of my favorite movies. Don't ask why, it just is. Angela Landsbury is amazing Triguna Macoites Tricorum Satis Dee
You can finish rolling your eyes, mom. Anyhow, Thursday, I stepped (again) in the right direction and had to share!
With all of the sessions I'm doing at the school, I was having trouble trying to find the time in my schedule to do some interdisciplinary sessions (music + speech and music + OT). So this week, I asked the person I answer to, I guess my "boss," about the reality of getting some additional hours. She wrote it down to bring up at the next big meeting of her supervisors. The Meeting was yesterday and I received an email almost right away.
I was telling Julie that for ever little step forward I have a realistic goal and a "sky's the limit" goal.
Realistic Goal: Get just a couple of hours more every week.
Outrageous Goal: Be hired on staff.
Results?
I got a couple more hours for my school contract!
This is great news and a great step forward! I'll be there with the extra hours through the school year (June) - at which time we'll talk about summer programming.
I love working there so much. I'm doing more and more co-treats with the other disciplines and people are really starting to think about how they can incorporate music more into their sessions or classrooms.
It is an exciting time.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
BreakThroughs
I had a breakthrough with one of my clients and mostly because I was really listening.
I've been sort of struggling with planning these particular sessions because its a bit outside of my comfort zone. The experiences I was trying did feel like they were connecting to the fullest.
In this past session, the client casually mentioned something about also enjoying an art class. The lightbulb came on and we spent the session doing some music listening and art then discussion. We hit all of the session objectives through this medium and the client seemed more engaged and participatory throughout. This person could explain things in more detail and with greater insight through the music and art medium than all of the previous experiences we've done together.
I left feeling excited and energized AND I left knowing exactly what I wanted to do the next session.
I love when a good plan comes together.
I've been sort of struggling with planning these particular sessions because its a bit outside of my comfort zone. The experiences I was trying did feel like they were connecting to the fullest.
In this past session, the client casually mentioned something about also enjoying an art class. The lightbulb came on and we spent the session doing some music listening and art then discussion. We hit all of the session objectives through this medium and the client seemed more engaged and participatory throughout. This person could explain things in more detail and with greater insight through the music and art medium than all of the previous experiences we've done together.
I left feeling excited and energized AND I left knowing exactly what I wanted to do the next session.
I love when a good plan comes together.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Mantras
How many people out there use Mantras?
Mantras are words or phrases (sometimes syllables like in yoga practice) that are supposed to create some sort of transformation. I never really thought about mantras that way until I googled it. I like that- creating transformation.
I used one yesterday in a post: Process and Move On.
Its a good one and directly related to being able to let go of things that are not worth the time and energy. I'll let you know how that one works out. I was inspired to think about more mantras I have used after yesterday's post. I like them and I think they help me. Sometimes I need to refocus my attention to the things that matter. :)
Other ones I've been known to repeat:
Breathe
Keep Breathing
Limitations are Not Failures
Pace yourself
Balance
Just be
Perhaps the most exciting (and most recent) mantra I've encountered was provided by my best friend Julie:
Filter and Tolerate
I crack up whenever I think about it- it's impossible to be in a sour mood and think about filtering and tolerating. It's a good one for me and in a round about way reminds me to go with the flow.
Any other good mantras out there?
Mantras are words or phrases (sometimes syllables like in yoga practice) that are supposed to create some sort of transformation. I never really thought about mantras that way until I googled it. I like that- creating transformation.
I used one yesterday in a post: Process and Move On.
Its a good one and directly related to being able to let go of things that are not worth the time and energy. I'll let you know how that one works out. I was inspired to think about more mantras I have used after yesterday's post. I like them and I think they help me. Sometimes I need to refocus my attention to the things that matter. :)
Other ones I've been known to repeat:
Breathe
Keep Breathing
Limitations are Not Failures
Pace yourself
Balance
Just be
Perhaps the most exciting (and most recent) mantra I've encountered was provided by my best friend Julie:
Filter and Tolerate
I crack up whenever I think about it- it's impossible to be in a sour mood and think about filtering and tolerating. It's a good one for me and in a round about way reminds me to go with the flow.
Any other good mantras out there?
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