Wednesday

Oh! It was really nice today- high 50s AND its supposed to be in the 70s this weekend.

Today was not quite as productive as yesterday or Monday, but I did manage to get things done. I sent some paperwork home tonight and managed to finish up 3 monthly summaries (out of 5 remaining). That leaves 2 left to do tomorrow AND to read over what I've done tonight in order to send it to my ITD. Phew. Not to mention edits of the things I've already sent. So little time and so much to do.

I'm also getting some music therapy conference stuff ready too. Saturday is my big work day- go make copies at Staples of all the documents I need, make sure my powerpoints are all set for next week and pack my bag. I can't believe that Vegas is happening next week- time has certainly flown by. I was going to write more about the Seder from last night, but after working all evening, I find myself a bit tired. I also went to Wegman's this afternoon and purchased the things I need to Sunday's Easter dinner. I'm fixing lamb a la one of my chapman professors. She's greek and makes the most amazing lamb. I was lucky enough to get her recipe. I fixed it for some friends last Easter in AZ and it was absolutely delicious. I am hoping for a repeat. So far, I have 4 lbs for 3 people, Kari, Mar-boy, and myself. I also decided while shopping today that we are going to decorate Easter eggs Sunday afternoon as well. I think it will be a nice time.

Tomorrow we have another piano inservice at a different location. We're meeting my supervising therapist at a site just a few miles from my house. I am really looking forward to my commute home tomorrow. I expect it to take all of about 5 minutes. That leaves plenty of time to do some laundry so I can start packing for my trip!

That's all for me. Someday I will have more time to write about how fun the Seder was- all the details and everything plus new adventures. Goodnight!

These bitter herbs

That's right folks, I went to my first Seder as an adult. It was so fabulous and I am stuffed- so my post will be brief as I also need to get to bed.

The Seder was hosted by some bandmates of Mar-boy. The bassist and his wife (and young daughter) had us over as well as grams and gramps (who played Moses, naturally), the best friend and the sister and her two kids. We had a wonderful time. Aside from the Seder and the reading and singing, we ate and ate and ate. Dinner was grilled salmon (steak or filet), asparagus, and gnocchi for the kids. There were also eggs, thai sweet potato salad, green salad with a sesame vinaigrette. For dessert- matzah heath thingys--- basically matzah covered in toffee with choco-chips and pralines. SO much food. I tasted everything and ate everything apart of the seder- including the freshly ground horseradish. We drank the four little glasses of wine and sang all the songs. It was such a wonderful time. The best friend was sitting next to me and talked an ear off me about how much she loves San Francisco and all the best places for cheese and chocolates in rochester. Mar-boy and I have a whole list of new places to check out.

So all in all, a very successful evening. Between Bubbe and Gramps (I forget the name for that), I felt like I was in a movie.... it felt kind of like that dinner scene in "While You Were Sleeping"- I think there's a hilarious dinner scene in that movie- maybe its Christmas vacation? Whatever it was, it was nice to feel apart of a family. Mar-boy is the percussionist in this band and so I think I will be catching their gig coming up in a couple of Mondays. Our host and hostess tonight both invited me to check it out and that it'd be good to see me there. It was really nice, like i said, to be apart of a family tonight. We both had an excellent time. We've also made plans for Friday and Mar-boy will be joining Kari and I for Easter dinner on Sunday.

Tomorrow brings more paper work and more sessions. I do play the paper now- thanks ElTee. Session wise, I had a great day. For some reason all of my clients were in a jolly mood and a couple of amazing things happened. AND I've been staying on top of my paperwork so I don't think I will have to go into the office this weekend. I think I can get all of this stuff done this week- which will be wonderful indeed.

Now I must slip off gently into a blissful food coma. Happy Passover!

Productivity!

Wow. Today was a productive day.

Not only did I have a full schedule but I also submitted some paperwork, got started on some more paperwork, and printed out completed paperwork. The end of the month = paperwork. Now that I am home, I am feeling completely sluggish.

Tomorrow I was invited to a Seder dinner. The roles of Mean Old Pharaoh and Miriam are still vacant-- I may feel the urge to volunteer by the time I get there. I was invited by one of the people that I met at conference. We'll call him MAR-boy for now. Anyhow, he's not Jewish, but has worked for this family who is and they invited him to Seder and by extension I was invited. I am looking forward to the celebration and food and kosher soda. Please expect a full report upon returning.

MAR-boy came over yesterday to catch a movie and have a bite to eat. He's a pretty cool guy and it was nice to hang out with someone new. I think when you meet people at conference it sets off your friendship on a different note. I know that I am a little more relaxed but also hyped up and excited to be there--so kind of like a more authentic version of myself. I'm in my element and all, so how could I be anyone but me. I don't know if that makes any sense. It kind of feels like we've been friends for a while- one of those things. He lives in the town where I work 2 days a week, so he's in the area. Anyways he's pretty active so its very possible that I may be taking up hiking (?) and disc golf (frisbee golf) among other adventures in the near future. I think the hiking is negotiable. In any case, I think its a perfect opportunity for a new pair of shoes.

Tomorrow means really going back to work and getting back on the paperwork train.

That's the latest and greatest!

Conference!

Phew. We're back from conference. We got in about 5:45 last night and I was asleep by 7:30. Unfortunately, that meant I was up at like 6:30 this morning but its given me a chance to get caught up on my e mails and blog posts.

So. Conference. Wow. It was amazing. I met a lot of really wonderful people in addition to seeing some excellent (and maybe not so excellent) sessions. I did learn a lot and had a lot of fun! Kari and I had a ton of time to discuss in the car, but we decided we were more laid back and relaxed and let more of our personalities come through especially when we were hanging with our supervising therapist. We were keeping everyone, including ourselves, laughing the entire time. Here's the day by day:

Thursday: We woke up early and took our sweet time getting out of Rochester. Of course I had to stop at the ATM and get gas before really hitting the road which left us leaving Rochester about an hour later than we had intended. We made it to Pittsburgh in time for opening ceremonies. Opening ceremonies were great. The keynote speaker is a professor emeritus at Duquesne University and she was SASSY. She's lived and worked in Pittsburgh for many years and had a lot to say in terms of the history and land and the connection with our field. She also had some students there who made up a little ensemble: cello, guitar, two violas and voice and played some live music. At first I was kind of thinking that the whole thing was a little hokey, but the cello started to play and that changed everything- the timbre and rich tone. It was fantastic. Kari and I skipped the first session and instead went to the second session of the afternoon about Self Regulation and children with autism. The joke being that I need to learn how to self-regulate. Which is true, I started talking to this girl from Pennsylvania about how amusing I thought the state is and thankfully Kari jumped in when the girl looked really confused. We decided that together, we can self regulate-- apart not so much. The video clips from that particular session were very different from the type of music therapy that I'm learning. So it was uh.. interesting.

After the first session that we skipped to get oriented, check in, and unpack the car, we went to a plenary session about the work that music therapists are doing by combining performances of professional contemporary and classical musicians in the pittsburgh area. The professional business meeting was held after - by which time Kari and i were STARVING. And we are the same in that when we don't eat, we get crabby and easily distracted. So the meeting was a little taxing, but we booked it for the hotel restaurant buffet before we had to be back for the internship fair. At the time of hte internship fair- where prospective students can come, get information, ask questions etc, the Slippery Rock Jazz Band played and the conference hosts gave swing dancing lessons- it was a fun event. I saw a friend or two that I met at the national conference in San Diego so we got to catch up over at the cash bar and I met a few new people too. We went to bed pretty early- around 10:30 to be up and ready for Friday.

Friday- had a leisurely breakfast and Kari and I decided to divide and conquer sessions. She went to a session on guided imagery and music while I went and learned about community music therapy. Then I went to a session on Taboo Topics in Music Therapy- or Things good little music therapists don't ever talk about. Topics included burnout, frustrations with clients and staff and others in our field, differences in our field, just to name a few. We had two pages of topics by the end of the session. That was really interesting and nice to know that a lot of people go through feelings of, say, incompetence or guilt even though no one is talking about it. The presenter was also a hoot and half. I really enjoyed it. Kari went to a session on marketing strategies for new MT-BCs aimed at new professionals and students. She said it was okay. Lunch break- we wandered out of the hotel and hopped over to Einsteins Bagels for a quick bite and hurried back for a session on Clinical Improvisation techniques. We had heard about the presenters from being on the music therapy listserv and so we were both curious. It was okay- but felt very basic. We use the exact same techniques and books in the internship here. They did do demonstrations of each technique which was helpful. That group of sessions were followed by another business meeting which went quickly and left us plenty of time to go out to dinner. We went to Buca di Beppo for dinner with our supervising therapist. It was a blast. BUT we had to get back to the hotel by 8p.

On that last night of Conference there is a dessert bar and karaoke night- but its unlike any karaoke night that I've seen. They have an in house band made of up music therapists- amazing musicians. They have a list of songs that they play and people can sign up and sing with the live band. Everyone attends this particular event, even if its for 5 minutes or the whole 3 hours. It was a hoot. The dessert bar was also fantastic- ice cream, toppings, fruit, cookies. We met up with some of the people that we met the night before. Kari said goodnight and I stayed to hit some of the jam rooms with my new friends. If its anything I've learned from these types of events its that I will surely talk to anyone... if you can imagine. how precocious. Anyhow, we walked into this jam room and it was kind of dying. This one girl was playing this slow depressing radiohead song on the piano- which the string players liked but everyone else was starting to clear out. So we took over- naturally. I hopped on the piano and in my best tribute to lisa rae, started with a little classic tunes with Ain't no Mountain High Enough going right into I Gotta Feeling == songs I could just pull out of the hat. But it changed the whole energy and other people got up and led songs and stuff like that. It was a lot of fun. I stayed until 2a when I remembered that I had to be up at 6.

Saturday - we woke up, begrudgingly, but opted to have a leisurely breakfast and skip the first session of the day. Then we went to a session on The Field Of Play and responding to clients within that framework. The Field of Play is a theory of music therapy created by Dr. Carolyn Kenny. It is pretty much the coolest thing I'd heard all weekend. I had read the book a while ago for a paper that I did at Chapman- but now I realize that I understood so little of it. The way the presenter explained it made so much sense- it made me really excited. Then I made Kari stay for the entire closing session because I wanted to see if I would win any door prizes. but I never win anything.

I am so glad that I went this weekend. It gave me new energy and it was fun to see a different region and to have that experience. We were all upset that our ITD could not come with us. I met a lot of great people and even some who are working in this area. There's one guy that I met who actually lives in the town where I work on Tuesday/Friday. He's going to show me the town- which I'm told consists of one bar and main street. I was excited to meet someone else (aside from Kari) who is close to my age and place in school that actually is in the area. It was nice to make some friends in this region. We'll see what happens. It was sort of weird starting out because everything was so different than the regional conference and people that I am used to. There were doppelgangers every where- meaning people who looked and acted like my friends in the Western Region. It was sort of wild. But at the heart of the whole thing, no matter what, the people are great and its always a good time at these sorts of gatherings. People are excited about what they do- even those who have been in the field for 30+ years. That is so encouraging to someone like me, someone just starting out on the journey. I could be one of those people who still loves their job 30 years from now. So the entire weekend is draining and tiring but I have come back with an increased understanding, new friends, and renewed energy. I love it.

Today I am looking forward to just resting and having some down time before the week begins. Its supposed to be a "normal" week. Its the week before Western Regional conference in Vegas so I know that I will have quite a bit to do in terms of making copies of things and getting my little ducks in a row. The great news about that is that Casey, my friend from Chapman who also transferred, has decided to come to conference! I'm so excited that she is going to be there. So I am taking today to just be zen before other conference stuff begins and end of the month paperwork!

I've got to eat a little snacky and unpack! Have a great Sunday everyone!

haircut!

New Hair. Hair finally cut. It feels so much better. Thank goodness.

I took Rt. 65 to get to this little town with this nice salon and spa. In the middle of no where- literally, no where--- where 65 meets 251 there is a circle. To continue on 65 you have to go around the circle. In the middle of no where. It was very confusing. In the middle of no where. Sometimes I don't understand this state.

The salon was nice and I feel so much better.

Kari is on her way over for ice cream and sleep over. We're leaving for Pittsburgh first thing tomorrow! I am really excited to experience another conference and forget about all my other responsibilities for a couple of days.

Woo hoo. I'm gearing up to get into my conference mode! Updates AND pictures of Pittsburgh when I return.

Our ITD gave us some sound advice this afternoon regarding conference:

1. Don't wander too far from the hotel

2. If you pass a bathroom be sure to use it

and 3. Take notes and be prepared to tell her everything when we get back.

Gotta pack! Have a great weekend everyone- I'll be back Saturday night!

Moving Day

Its moving day in Tempe. That's my little corner of the world in Arizona. That picture was taken the moment that Julie and I pulled up to the apartment in August of 2008.

I've been reflecting a lot lately upon my time in Arizona-- probably because I knew that things were definitely closing there. My friends are leaving to internship or finding other jobs and will soon be gone from there too.

Julie and I drove up to the apartment complex. The car said 108 degrees. I stepped outside and said, "oh. well, this isn't so bad." Julie got out of the car and said, "Oh my god" and immediately wilted. We drove to the parking spot where this picture was taken and moved all my crap from the car into the apartment. My furniture from Santa Ana hadn't arrived, so we had this huge space and no stuff. We (or I) was starving and we all know how that goes. Julie is a champ- she knows when I need to eat and rest and to chill out. I was definitely stressed moving in, but she made the whole thing fun and more of an adventure. We were exhausted from the drive and the night we had before visiting a friend in Santa Barbara. That's a whole separate blog post.

We set up my computer and movies and sleeping bags in the corner of the room and camped out for the night--- right after we cranked up the air conditioning. My stuff arrived the next day and the rest is history. I arrived knowing one other student who transferred from Chapman- but three weeks later (around the time I burned my hand), I had this built in network that just beautifully came together. I am truly thankful for my Arizona family and I wouldn't know what I would do without any of them. All of those friendships were truly unexpected and I greatly treasure them. It was surprising how quickly I rooted there. I left Chapman so suddenly and never do I ever regret the decision to transfer- in fact I believe that the decision to move kind of jump started everything for me. But now that my apartment lease is up, that chapter is like really closing. Its a reality now. I moved here, but we still had the apartment so that little piece of me was still there. So it is a bittersweet feeling to know of all the wonderful things that happened in Arizona but to also really move on.

Speaking of moving on... I had my first quarter evaluation this morning. It went really well! I was harder on myself than my ITD and ST were but our comments were all aligned which is the more important thing. Tomorrow I have another meeting and then I will tie up some loose documentation ends for February. I have a hair appointment scheduled for tomorrow!!! YAYAYAY! Finally. And Kari is coming over to spend the night before we leave for Pittsburgh on Thursday!

That means that I better get to cleaning my kitchen before I turn in for the evening.

I'm taking it one day at a time.

Monday Monday

Its raining! I love the rain. I love the rain smell more.

Today was a good but busy day. Kari was finishing off her evaluation stuff for her meeting this afternoon I had four sessions today (one was canceled) and a meeting. Everything went well, I got some paperwork done and had time to sit in the Somatron. I figured out how to make it work with my iPod which was exciting. I could listen to whatever song I wanted to without dealing with the CD player.

I stopped at Wegmans for a few things including milk. I've been out for a while. I have missed cereal so much.

Now I'm home, settling in. I'm still taking these huge horse pills for antibiotics, but I should be done by the time we leave for Pittsburgh (Thursday!!). Wow time is flying.

Two weeks until Vegas. That is going to be an interesting experience. Mostly I am just excited that I am going to be seeing my friends.

Tomorrow I have another meeting and hopefully my first quarter evaluation. AND I have to call the hair salon again because they close early on Saturdays and are closed Sunday and Monday. Go figure. Hopefully I'll be able to go on Wednesday before Pittsburgh.

That's all she wrote.

Mail Surprise!!!

WOWOWOWOWOWOOW!

I got a surprise in the mail yesterday- of course I didn't check my mail yesterday but I went out this morning to check and there was a box with my name on it. In it was a sweater passed down from the best boss ever. It has a cool graphic of bob marley on it and it is very cozy. Funny how timing works out. I was just thinking about how I needed to get up off the couch and grab a sweatshirt. No need! One was delivered!

In it was a very nice card from two very awesome ladies and avid "On that Note" readers. Fan mail if you will.

So thank you ladies! This totally made my Sunday!!!

I will definitely miss working the Fair this year- although I know that my "position" has been filled with capable (and much taller) hands. But I will miss the routine of getting up in the morning and going to work, stopping for coffee runs-- that amazing little coffee shop at the gas station on Del Mar Heights Rd (They have flavored whipped cream and the best mexican hot chocolate), building stuff, the pick ups, the people, boobs mcgee, staff meetings at Fidels, my production boyfriend, getting stuck in walls, nails going through hands, getting stuck in tubes, getting stuck behind coffin boxes! I seem to get stuck in a lot of places. One of my particular favorite things, at least last year, was invoking the ghosts of musician's past and witnessing them leave little gifts across the alley OR the time we fooled our boss to think that my cohort smashed my fingers with a drumstick. That was classic. Anyhow, I look back fondly on my time there. I think that was the first job where I truly felt independent. I was living away from home, going to work everyday but in beautiful Del Mar where the ocean is a mile away and everything felt a little more simple. I learned a lot about myself, had the time of my life. I was even frisked by a security guard - thanks to my office bud J. She thought that was really funny as she looked at the entire thing from her rearview mirror.

So I will miss my Candles on the Water this summer- a lot. And I will miss the feeling of working there, going into work everyday with a new story, and working together to WOW our customers. BUT I have come out of the two years I spent there with another family and so many wonderful memories and lessons. So thank you Holly and DiAnne for creating a work environment that teaches your kids more than they could bargain for. I know that I am better because of it.

...and don't be afraid to send me some of those brownies.

Sick Day

I stayed home sick today. I woke up this morning with a killer headache- a side effect of one of the antibiotics that I have for my infection. Blech. I called the pharmacy and asked if I could take any advil to tylenol- sometimes you can't. But she said I could so I took some extra strength and had a little cup of coffee-- sometimes the caffeine helps too. I canceled my sessions this morning and went back to sleep. I felt bad about canceling AND having to reschedule my evaluation because I would rather get that done sooner than later, but I am glad that I didn't have to drive anywhere. When I get these bad headaches they settle right behind my eyes making most anything impossible. But I am feeling better now.

So as long as I'm already feeling a bit better and sort of irritable, I decided to catch up on some music therapy association stuff. :) Just kidding, although I do have the time. And I wrote a letter to my friend in Colorado and have watched numerous episodes of Golden Girls. Funny Girl is up next. oh and lunch. I'm hungry.

I'm going to call later about getting my hair cut and I'm hoping that taking the antibiotics won't make me feel this way all of the time.

Lunch time. I hope everyone is having a great Friday!

Presentations, Eye Candy, Antibiotics... oh my!

Our presentations went well today! We did a great job, had some good questions and had the opportunity to leave early as my supervising therapist was caught up in meetings for the rest of the day. So Kari and I made our way back to Rochester. She drove to my apartment this morning and parked her car in my garage and I drove the rest of the way to our presentation. We arrived back to my apartment around 2:40 or so and it was a beautiful day. We soon discovered that my garage door wouldn't open. The solution? Go to the office and see if someone was available to help me out. The apartment complex (at least my building) just changed management. The woman working the office today is straight out of like New Jersey housewives or something- HUGE hair, eye shadow, the accent, the whole bit. I told her of my garage woes and she responded, "oh dear, we'll get anthony over there to fix the door for ya" --- please read in a brooklyn-ese accent.

So Kari and I are thinking that Anthony is going to be some older gentleman who is going to fix the door. Ten minutes later, this beautiful man comes rolling up in a golf cart--- all bronzey and muscley and gorgeous. Kari and I opened the trunk, sat on the tailgate and watched him fix the door. It was an excellent pick-me-up to an already great day. Thank goodness it was warm and sunny outside. I think the story would be different had it been snowing.

Then I headed over to the urgent care as my toe was all infected and gross. We'll leave that there. I have antibiotics and elevation on my side, so things are good. To make this day EVEN better, I came home and there was a prize waiting for me from my friend Maggie. She made some Irish Soda Bread with her grandma and sent it to me. I have a HUGE loaf. I am very excited to have some for breakfast tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am almost done with my self evaluation. I'm on the part where I have to set goals for myself and really all I feel like writing is "WORK ON EVERYTHING." I guess I have to be more specific. It stinks because I do want to work on everything. I just started for crying out loud! So we'll see what kind of things I come up with in the next 50 minutes because as we all know, I go to bed at 9pm. I am currently fighting to keep my eyes open. Oy vey.

That's the only big thing tomorrow. I am trying to schedule a haircut this weekend. please please please. my hair is sooooo long. Hoping that I will be able to take care of that this weekend- with pictures to follow.

goodnight everyone!

big presentation tomorrow...

Our big presentation is tomorrow.

I'm down for the evening. So tired. today was okay. I had some good sessions in the morning and then in the afternoon I felt like I trailed off a bit.

I did open a new bank account so I can cash in my NY gas reimbursement checks while the state of NY can afford to reimburse me for mileage. I felt successful.

Just gotta get through tomorrow! I know it will be great.

Tuesday

It was beautiful today. 60 and sunny.

I had great session and finished my first round of formal observations. I have my first quarter evaluation on Friday--- so I am busy at work on my self evaluation.

My lamp and heater are still haunted.

Now its couch time!

Tomorrow I have a meeting for one of my clients in the afternoon- that should be a fun experience, I hope. I haven't finished my laundry - in terms of doing a load of colors- so I don't know what kind of green I will be wearing tomorrow. We'll see. I hope I don't get pinched!

Ode to Seat Warmers

Ode To Seat Warmers

Dearest seat warmer

you warm my behind,

you make my commute

utterly divine.

You take the chill

right from the morning rush

even though snow banks are high

and roads are mush.

But more than that

more than warming my rear

Or caressing my tush

no matter the year

you warm my coat

on the passenger side seat

and that,

that my dear friends,

you can not beat.

Yes its true. I have a love affair with my seat warmers. I put my coat on the passenger side seat and turn the seat warmer on so that my coat is warm by the time I get to work and put my coat back on.

I just felt like everyone should know.

We had a great day. More observations and we went over our presentation for Thursday. My life in Arizona is wrapping up. Dad is closing out the apartment next week and bringing my stuff back to Gilroy. I am most excited that my bed is coming to gilroy. its the best bed ever. And the couch? Oh. Soo good for naps. But I am sad that this particular chapter of my life is officially over- it was an amazing 18 months.

Tomorrow I have more observations- the few sessions that my supervisor did not get to see on Friday and viewing more video to perhaps use for our presentation on Thursday.

Next week is Pittsburgh conference already! Hmm Pittsburgh. In the 5th grade, my state report was on Pennsylvania. It was the second state in the United States and there's a horse on the flag. Sydney Crosby, my canadian and NHL husband, plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins. Its flower is mountain laurel. The state tree is hemlock. The state bird is the ruffed grouse. The first baseball stadium was built in Pittsburgh in 1909. Just a few facts for you. I will have to find some trinkets while in Pittsburgh. I can't believe that its already here! There are so many things to do and time is flying!

It was a dark and stormy night

Bahaha. I'm laughing to myself as I'm recounting this story.

Today I picked up Kari and we went to office to work on our presentation for thursday and watch some videos of sessions.

It was great to see old session clips of clients on both of our caseloads. We were able to tell each other about what the clients do in sessions now. We swapped stories and worked on our presentations-- got things done. By the time we were ready to leave to grab some dinner it was 10 to 7 and completely dark outside.

I know most of you have not ever seen or visited our main office/facility---but its pretty institution-y and on first impression, I was a little scared to be there. Now imagine that type of environment when its pitch black - no lights whatsoever-- and pouring rain outside. At night. With no one there. its different when there are people there- its cheery and wonderful- a nice place to work with friendly people who care about consumers. It's very eerie when no one is there. And when I say no one- I mean no one. Kari and I were the only people in the entire building.

We made it down the stairs and realized that our cell phones were not going to provide enough light to walk through the building to avoid the rain. We even heard little bumps in the halls. Kari turned to me and said, "no way. can we go out this door?" She was referring to the north door which leads outside to an area that is NOT where we parked. We should've parked there on second thought. But it wasn't dark when we got to the office! Anyhow. I said, "okay. but we've got to run. its pouring outside."

So we ran. We ran like two little scared and out of shape girls. in the rain. laughing at how scared we were.

It was hilarious.

then we went out to eat at this neighborhood bar/grill type place. It was delicious. We swapped more stories and had a great evening. It's so nice to be able to hang out with Kari especially since we are both far away from home and family and friends. Its lucky that we get along so well. I am excited for more adventures to come.

Anyhow, the lesson to be learned is to park closer to the north door if we're going to stay in the office after the sun sets and if its raining. Also, I'm way out of shape and a pansy when things go bump in the dark. AND that the main office building would be the perfect place to play hide and go seek on the weekend. Watch out Julie. When you visit, this may happen. :) Some of my friends from Chapman would play that in the old science building including the place where they kept the cadavers. Thank goodness I always opted out of those game nights. Dead bodies is a whole other thing that goes (or doesn't go) bump in the dark. That's a whole other playing field.

After all that running and being scared, I'm exhausted. I'm hoping for another rainy Sunday and working on my self evaluation stuff in preparation for my first quarter eval. this week!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

TGIF

Its Friday. Wooo hoooo.

I'm doing laundry and eating brownies. So far so good.

I had a great day today. I had good observations and great sessions. In one of my sessions today, the client started laughing so hard tears began streaming down his face. This wasn't a typical laugh- it was a whole other level of laughing. It sounded deeper like a belly laugh and even at one point, became inaudible. It was hilarious. I was playing some really consonant - pleasant- sounding music when my fingers slipped and played some horribly dissonant notes. Apparently that was hilarious. So I started to add more dissonance intentionally. What a hoot. One of the staff from this client's core room happened to walk by and looking the window. When I walked in to take the client back after therapy she started telling me how great it was to see that moment. What a day.

Lots of things happening this weekend--- Kari and I have to finish putting together our presentation for Thursday. That includes reviewing video, ironing out our experiential, and filling in the holes in the information. So I'm going to the office tomorrow to work on that stuff with her and also (Hopefully) finish up some paper work for february. fingers crossed please.

Its suppose to rain this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. I love the rain and I love the smell too.

Anyhow, that's it for this weekend. I'm going to decompress with some brownies and fabric softener. Yep. This is an eventful Friday night for sure. :)

bllllarrrrrggghhhh

Yes, "Blargh" is a technical term. Its synonym is "nobbegated"-- also a technical term and the exact term I'd use to describe my current mood. I'm just sort of feeling nobbegated. As of now, I'm battling the nobbegation with some brownies in the oven (and plenty of batter left in the bowl) and some Golden Girls. My favorite episode (this is for you DiAnne) is when they put on the musical of Henny Penny. You best believe I will be watching that tonight.

Anyways, I'm all out of sorts because life is really stressful right now. I turned in a piece of paper that I was supposed to keep for a meeting next week- so I am obsessing over a piece of paper. I am perfectly aware of how SILLY that is. Tons of paperwork. Formal observations tomorrow for our first quarter evaluations. and a presentation on Thursday. Ack. You would have never thought I've dealt with stress before.

Julie put a lot of this into perspective with one phrase: "What problem?"

Reasoning: there aren't really any problems because the situations all become resolved in some way or another. It keeps things from getting too serious and reminds you to keep a sense of humor in it all. Sometimes you just have to laugh--- like that point when you think that it couldn't get any more ridiculous and then it does. Yea, thats a good moment to just laugh. Can't do anything about it now, so just laugh it off and plan how to resolve it and don't worry or spend anymore time or energy on it.

And then she added, "Your evaluation is going to go fine. You can take constructive criticism way better than you can take a compliment."

Whoa! She's right!

That spawned a whole line of thought (surprising for this time of the evening). Anyhow. Its so true. I can take the constructive criticism--- well most of it. I'm actually a rather sensitive person underneath my "rough" exterior. I tend to take a lot of things personally. But for some reason, taking constructive feedback from people I respect (not always the person in the traditional authority role -- a quality of my intj personality) feels like a natural thing. I think its because I want to be able to do things right and please those I respect and in turn think that being reliable and trustworthy, doing things right to a high standard and quality will earn respect from others. I can also take this to the extreme where I think that everything has to be perfect = hence stressing out over a piece of paper that was delivered early (which I plan to pick up on monday on my way to work). Feedback is something that I love getting so that I can implement it right away. I've always done that- especially in my music therapy settings.

But taking a compliment! Whoa. It makes me really uncomfortable sometimes. I often don't know what to say and feel the need to make some sort of smart-assy comment. And really the comment is a result of feeling awkward. I haven't really figured out what that says about me. I like being recognized for the good things that I do, but maybe I feel uncomfortable because I don't want to come across as overly-confident and annoying. I know that I will never be perfect or done learning. I can always learn to do things better. So maybe its just me focusing on the work to be done instead of enjoying the things that have been accomplished.

Thoughts anyone? leave them in a comment for me.

Maybe for this next week, I am truly going to celebrate the things I finish instead of coming home from work thinking about when I can pick up pieces of paper or dreading my supervision time to go over evaluations. All of this kind of motivating me to get started on my self evaluation for next week. hmmmm perhaps this blogging, chocolate and golden girls treatment is working.

More peace of mind came from talking with my other friend Alli. She said that taking a compliment and receiving verbal affirmations are more of a gift- on either end. Its a gift to be recognized for truly earned achievements (as compared to someone doing stuff for the glory, awards, put on their resume etc) and its a gift to be generous and accept the gift of a verbal affirmation. So its not so much that I should be afraid of people thinking I'm prideful, but allowing people to recognize me for the difference I do make and being generous to accept that type of attention and gratitude if you will. It seems like when you deflect gratitude from someone, that person sees you throw it away, like it isn't worth anything. So, I am going to try and adopt a better attitude of gratitude - one day at a time of course. I will try to accept the gratitude for the things that I work hard for and be generous in looking for reasons to compliment and pay it forward to others. Its kind of a big thing I guess, but I think keeping this intention will help start to change things for me. I don't know. We'll see. :)

Today it was a beautiful 62 degrees and sunny! Everyone is in a better mood. I drove from the office to a meeting (52 miles) with the sun roof open. The bright blue sky was perfect with these cutesy fluffy clouds and a ton of birds flying everywhere. We're talking HUGE V's. I know I mentioned that yesterday. It really is spectacular.

In hot Gilroy topics, my tap dance teacher from 19 years ago passed away this week. She taught us how to shuffle (and a bunch of other steps I still don't remember) from a chair. Kathryne got to be in the middle of the stage at the recital because she was taller and remembered ALL of the steps. She was good. I was this tiny little peanut on the far left (second one in) that almost wet my tights and pink shoes just kind of spinning around sometimes. The video is truly a sight to behold. Dad is on his way to Tempe to clean out and wrap up my apartment. My friends are sad to see the extra key and cable go away. I'm starting to miss everyone more now that I'm under a fair amount of stress but I know that this stuff comes and goes in waves. So I'm waiting for my next wave to come in.

The latest planned adventure (aside from conferences) includes a trip to Cartwrights for all you can eat pancakes and home made syrup (if you're Kari - SIRrup). This was recommended by one of the people at my Tuesday/Friday setting. I'm pretty sure it is located in THE middle of nowhere, NY, USA. Didn't think it was possible. :) I'll definitely take pictures.

That's it for now. My brownies are going to be done soon. I guess I should eat some dinner before I get too carried away. :)

Funny how "blargh" turned into a beautiful day and blog post. I like it.

Mail Call...

If you can't tell each shamrock says "Sassy" and "Lassy"--- Thanks mom! I received an envelope from my momma with a bunch of festive things!

So sassy.... in fact, its sassy enough for this lassy. I love it.

btw Julie, mom found some extra gift cards and things from our last Outlet binge. that was a great day-- also the same day we decided it was a good idea to try and eat an entire pan of bevi-brownies. Like I said, a great day.

I am so tired tonight and I spent most of the afternoon staring at a computer, so I will be brief. All of my sessions went well today and one even ended in the client sharing the piano with me for 20 minutes. That alone is a big deal for this particular person. Kari and I have been hard at work-- paperwork that is. We've been trying to finish up all the February summaries that are still left-- it feels like this horrible neverending process because as soon as we finish these we will have to start polishing our March summaries and on and on and on and on. Oh well. I didn't have a chance to do the summaries as the month progressed for February so I think I am going to go into the office this weekend to catch up on all of that stuff so I can truly focus on March. PLUS I want to be ahead of the game --- or as far ahead as I can --- before the two conferences in a few weeks.Things will be more manageable once this week is over- we have that extra presentation to do next Thursday for professional development. Time is definitely flying by! I've already been here for like two months or something. Wow.

It was 50 degrees today! And there is a recent surge in the number of birds flying around. I saw a huge V on my way home tonight. It was sort of spectacular. The heat in my apartment is still running rampant. I got home yesterday and it was 86 degrees, today it was 82 degrees. The heat is definitely turned off. I don't know what to do. THe haunted lamp has stopped acting up, but maybe the spirit is now inheriting the heater. Hmmmm more observations are necessary.

Now I am going to stuff my face with something, change into my pjs and be asleep by 8:30. Another wild night at home! :)

Monday - Tuesday

Again! I missed an update. Our ITD left for her medical leave--yesterday was her last day at work probably until late April or early May. So everything has been overwhelming and I am buried under a mountain of paperwork that needs to be filed an exact way and copied and signed and all kinds of stuff normally taken care of by our ITD that we are now extremely responsible for. Its a little wild.

My sessions in the past two days have gone well. It feels like I'm getting into a good rhythm with things. All of that stuff is going well-- its the extra things that are overwhelming. We're doing a presentation for staff development day which is keeping us extremely busy. The local regional conference is the week after that presentation... then the conference in last Vegas. I think I will be able to really breathe again around the third week of April. And the mountain of paperwork doesn't get any smaller. I'm hoping to put in a weekend day sometime soon so I feel okay with leaving for vegas after all of this march craziness.

It may be overwhelming, but it isn't any less exciting. I had a realization yesterday as I walked back from my car to the apartment. I realized that this was my real life. I wake up in the morning and I get to play with people and I get to make music with people to help them reach desired potentials. Its like a real thing. That's pretty amazing.

To make everything better, its going to be in the mid-high 40s all week long. Apparently that's shorts weather! woo hoo!

SUCCESS!!

Today's event was a huge success. We had a dynamic presenter and presentation that about 50 people enjoyed. I had a chance to connect with the other student board members so I am feeling better about the upcoming conference- like some of the load is being lifted. Now I can be more relaxed about the conference and enjoy the process rather than a state of panic. So I am relieved and inspired and excited and tired and happy. Lots of things. Mostly I'm relieved and excited that it went so well and for the upcoming conference. AND Now I can be in full conference mode in terms of the MT association. YAYAY. Such a good feeling.

Otherwise today was just so productive. I had time to lay in bed and watch my hulu shows, do the dishes, clean the kitchen from top to floor (I got a new swiffer), put groceries away from yesterday (like crackers and stuff), shower and do my hair, clean up the front room, vacuum, eat breakfast, make coffee, sort laundry and host a video conference. Phew. I deserve a nap. Maybe I will get right on that. The wrap up e mails and Eval forms for today's event can wait until tomorrow. :)

Thursday/Friday

My apologies for not posting last night. I had a lot of work to do and didn't get around to it. Things kind of unravel and put themselves back together and come apart again. I hate that. A couple of projects had to change in regards to some music therapy assoc. stuff. I suppose its just an opportunity to improvise. We have our big event tomorrow morning and I've been trying to work with everyone to make sure they are set. Some people get it and some people don't. I think I've done just about all I can do on my end and now the others involved have to meet halfway. Its a continuous process.

Anyhow, in addition to this other stuff, our ITD is getting ready for her leave so we've been scrambling to make caseload decisions and doing a bunch of inservices. It's been crazy. But I will say that Thursday had some great sessions. I started working with a new person. She's fun. I saw my two usual thursday morning clients. Everything is going well. The hardest part right now is making sure I understand everyone clearly- especially when they make requests for experiences in the session. That's been a struggle... I think once I really start to know these people I will be better able to understand them.

Today was fantastic. I had an amazing session with one of my clients today. Making social connections is a big deal for this particular client and today in the session there were repeated moments of connection and playing back and forth all with a lot of expression. It was just a great session. Now I am cleaning my kitchen and making a bit of dinner--- some salmon over some lettuce and a little penne and a little wine. Yum.

I'll update tomorrow after the event to give you the run-down!

Whacky Wednesday

Okay not really all that whacky.

I finally cooked my chicken. It was delicious.

Today we finally figured out and "cemented" our schedules and caseloads. We even added a few people from my ITD's caseload to our own. She's going to be out for maybe even a couple of months. For some clients that is just too long and it would be better for them to continue working in music with an intern than to go on a break. That means that finally! my schedule is determined and I know who I am supposed to see on what day at what time. It feels amazing to finally start a (mostly) regular routine. Thank goodness.

We have plenty to do, in addition to sessions, while our ITD is out including old videos of our clients. Kari and I decided on bringing popcorn for movie days-- we're talking clips from music therapy sessions from as early as the late 80s.... you know, when I was still believed that the yellow rice my mother served was with saffron and NOT yellow food coloring. Thanks a lot Mom. We are both excited to also study the tape and see how each client has changed over the years. We have a ton of paperwork to get through each month and even a presentation for staff development day later this month. In fact, only a few short weeks away. This month also brings the regional conference in Pittsburgh. April is our western regional conference.

Saturday we are hosting a virtual master class with professional music therapist practicing in Utah and I think its going to work out well. We have most of the schools in the region participating and "signing in." We haven't this type of participation ever-- at least to my knowledge. So I am feeling satisfied in general with the type of event we are providing for the students and that people are interested and engaged and relating information to students. It's like that feeling of happiness and satisfaction you get from feeling effective. At least that's what I think. The conference is going to go well. I think I will be stressing about it before hand but when I get there I will hopefully just go with the flow and tackle things as they come up. You can only prep so much before you just have to do it and know that its going to go well (and maybe not the way you planned). Holly- its like prepping for that first day of fair. You prep as best you can and you have a sort of idea of how its suppose to go and that never happens on the first day--- but it isn't always bad, in fact sometimes what happens is better than you could have planned. So we'll see what develops in the next couple of weeks. I'm excited to find out.

Time to eat cookies. I bought cookies at Wegmans because I couldn't buy ice cream. I think I talked about it yesterday. Anyhow, I'm blowing through these cookies quickly. I've got to find a NEW plan.

Kari and I did decide however that it would be a great project for us to visit every Wegmans in Western New York and take a picture. Most of that can be accomplished on our way to Pittsburgh. Kari is so cool. I am so relieved and glad that we get along so well. Could you imagine if two interns hated each other? that wouldn't be good. We've planned a ton of adventures, theater things, movie outings and evenings, and dinners. We were joking today that we have to get started otherwise we are going to run out of time. The latest and greatest is planning our Easter celebration. Its going to be nice to have an Easter dinner with someone out here. Kari agreed- you know Easter is usually a family thing so we both agreed that it would be nice to stuff ourselves. I'm making Helen's famous lamb and potatoes and Kari is bringing the salad and various desserts.

Anyhow, lots of adventures and plans to carry through. The next few weeks should be very interesting!

A fairly typical day

It was a typical day. All of my sessions went well. My supervising therapist is on vacation this week, so I had the office to myself. It was pretty quiet, but I made a startling discovery. I found another gray hair. That brings the total up to 3-- that I know of. I suppose I really am on the road to my future- which in my family means looking like my Auntie Lynda. I'm on my way.

I stopped at the Geneseo Wegmans for a few items and realized that its probably better than I do my Wegman's run at least 30 miles away from home. Its going to cut down on the amount of money I spend of frozen delights. You can't buy ice cream and then hop in the car- blast the heater- and drive for at least 30 minutes to get home. That's a recipe for disaster. Instead I bought cookies.

This is the last full week of my internship before my ITD goes on a bit of medical leave (nothing too serious) for a few weeks. Both Kari and I are curious to see how it all works out. We're planning on making a video series called "Today, while you were out of the office..." where we film a little blip about things that happened-- like Kari threw a paper airplane at me and then we did documentation. You know, the important things. We are learning to use the video camera so we can also tape sessions and bring her videos. There is even talk where we sit and watch them with her for that immediate feedback. That makes me nervous because the camera does not lie. Scary. But its also nice to still have her feedback and supervision while she's away from work.

That's it for today. I've got to straighten up my kitchen and cook that chicken that's been in the fridge. I also bought an East Coast Microbrew from somewhere.... I dunno. I was feeling adventurous and Wegmans does not carry wine. Imagine that. You have to buy wine at the liquor store. Lame.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

What a day!

The car is fixed. New battery. Fixed a short in the tail light.

I cancelled my morning sessions, stopped at starbucks and headed to work. I arrived at the office just a short 45 minutes later and realized that I did not have my purse. That's right I definitely left my purse in Rochester.

Today's afternoon sessions went well. Kari and I are starting to get more comfortable in our sessions. Its fun to see and also negotiate all of the things that come up in those sessions.

I hurried home to retrieve my purse in addition to also running a test session for a virtual conference that the western region student music therapy chapter is hosting on Saturday. Its an event that I've been putting together for a while. It's happening on Saturday and I will be relieved once it gets off and rolling-- meaning everyone signs in when they are supposed to, all the technology works, etc. The test was successful this afternoon. I was on the phone with another officer while she was signed into my account talking with the university in utah that is hosting our speaker. If its sounds complicated--- it kind of is. I have enjoyed being president of this particular student group--- even though the balance between this and internship is extremely difficult to juggle some days--- but I will be ready to hand off the torch come our conference in April. For now, I'm just hoping for a spectacular event on Saturday.

After all of that, I am way too tired to cook, so I ordered a pizza online and am enjoying a nice little glass of wine. The weather held up today but they are saying that we could easily see another foot of snow by the time Spring rolls around. That would make this winter's record of 100" of snow for the season. I heard that on the radio today.

Tomorrow I will go to my usual Tuesday/Friday site even though my supervising therapist is on a vacation this week! I will really by flying solo there and I am looking forward to it!

March 1st

Good Morning. Happy March!

This morning, my car won't start.

I'm currently waiting for AAA to come and see if they can start Annabellle so I can drive her to the BMW health spa to get a new battery.

Boy, its never a dull moment around here.

The snow has stopped for the most part--- just a lot of tiny little flakes here and there. I've checked in with my ITD and Kari to let them know that I will be late. I'm not certain how late I will be. I will have to wait to see what John Holtz says.

Fun times.

I'll update later today.